the hood But enough about you, how about us? People who cut us checks our illustrious past we're deep, too! sensate beings who work here like Ogilvy, but he licks your face, too the Old Sally's Lightly Silted Story mysticism in marketing stuff our PR guy made up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Portrait of an Agency

Where Crabtree, Omar and Welt's chooses to hang its corporate hat says a lot about its commitment to creativity.  Now an international landmark, the Giant Roach Motel was result of a far-sighted 1972 commission CO&W awarded to Claes Oldenberg.  To this day, it remains  the famed sculptor's  sole foray into architecture.

The brown and yellow structure dominates the larch-lined Avenue of the Aardvark, just across the street from the Musee de Lust adult theatre and at least 300 feet away from any school, church or synagogue.

With billings of over $500 million, and satellite offices in New York, San Francisco, and Guam, CW&O has a proud history and a dynamic present. Since 1997, it has been a vital component of Interglobal Communications, the third largest advertising holding company, itself a part of Grupo Fritz, Europe's fourth biggest multimedia conglomerate,and a leading provider of septic tank maintenance throughout the Western world.

 

"What is all this crap?" -
CEO Bud Mackler's dad Ed, at CW&O's Take Your Institutionalized Parents to Work Day last October.

"You know, we really wanted him to be a surgeon" - Bud's mom Iphigenie

At Crabtree, Welt and Omar, advertising is more than just
a bunch of crap.

Advertising is the common language of our culture, the glue that binds us together and, when inhaled, energizes our desires.

The world as we experience it is a sum of our perceptions, and, despite what Bud's mom says, we do more than any surgeon in shaping the perceptions of your life.

In an entire lifetime, a surgeon operates on, at best, a few thousand patients, but at CW&O we operate on everyone we can get our hands on, implanting our clients' latest spin on the American dream.

We operate on everything, from the consumer's biggest obsessions, down to the deepest, darkest caverns of their psyche. We not only remove your gall bladder, we Transplant your Head.

At CW&O, we Weave the Cocoon in which you live your life. We create the messages that project structure and meaning on its walls, and that buzz you in your pants to hold your interest.

We've been around a long time. We Know the Routine, and we know
how to make it seem radical and new.

We're beyond versatile - we're Omni-Disciplinary. Strategy, positioning, creative, media buying, research, damage control and blame management - CW&O has it all.

We validate our meager lives through you and Your Brand.
You're the nicotine patch cemented to our skin, shooting equal measures
of Ambition and Panic into our bloodstreams.

We Love your Products. We love your Services. We love your Consultants. We love your Lawyers and Accountants. We've even grown to find endearing how, in meetings, you Drone On and On while losing the thread of your own conversation.

CW&O will find the One, Optimal Path for your brand, and then refind it, somewhere else, again and again, as long as we have your account.

At CW&O, we will be Anything You Want Us to Be, because we have
a load of debt, and imploding billings.

 

   
  ©2002-2003 Lynn Becker Associates. The contents of this site are satire. Any reference to any person, institution, corporation or entity without satirical purpose is strictly coincidental.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so, what are looking down here for?