But enough about you, how about us? People who cut us checks like Ogilvy, but he licks your face, too the Old Sally's Lightly Silted Story mysticism in marketing stuff our PR guy made up
the hood our illustrious past we're deep, too! sensate beings who work here

Executive Vice President, Client Services

Sheila Vietata knows how to get your attention. Everyone knows the story about how she won - over long odds - the General Defense International account by disassembling and reassembling a long-range nuclear warhead as she made her pitch to an anxious panel of Brand Managers, but you may not have heard how she enlivened another final pitch - for Hector Maximus Corp. - by enlisting its feverishly reluctant President, Hal Splutters, in her live demonstration of the key selling points of the company's newest condom.

It's stories like these that illustrate the intensity and drive that have quickly brought Sheila Vietata to the pinnacle of her profession. Clients love her because they see how deeply and obsessively she cares about their brands, and because the thought of trying to take business away from her unleashes deep in their subconscious visions of the family's pet bunny boiling in a pot on the stove.

Brand managers struggle to keep up with Sheila's mastery of their brands. It was Sheila who came up with such stunningly successful line extensions as the Cod & Grouper room air freshener for Gorton, Steve Ballmer Mega-Nerds for Farley Candy, and Mobster-in-a-Drum for the Parrini crime family.

Her pro bono work for the National Weather Service explaining the limitations of weather forecasting to the former residents of Leaching Plains, Nebraska won a prestigious Lizzie Grubman award for excellence in governmental communication.

Sheila's commitment to her agency is so total that she actually lives "above the store" in a Anna Nicole-Smith designed condo in the penthouse of CW&O headquarters, where she entertains clients and prospects in a lavish style that probably explains why there's never ice in the refrigerators downstairs.

For someone who has reached the top at so young an age, the future promises - for CW&O and clients alike - wonders that we can only begin to imagine.

Lucille Potsdam
Temperate Winestahl
Donnie Kharma
Sheila Vietata
©2002 Lynn Becker Associates. The contents of this site are satire. Any reference to any person, institution, corporation or entity without satirical purpose is strictly coincidental.
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