the hood But enough about you, how about us? People who cut us checks our illustrious past we're deep, too! sensate beings who work here like Ogilvy, but he licks your face, too the Old Sally's Lightly Silted Story mysticism in marketing stuff our PR guy made up










Our client list is a who's who of the best of American enterprise, and we're proud to say not a single one of them is currently suing us.

CW&O helped launch the collapse with this web portal
for luddites. Ads were distributed entirely on stone tablets, and the unfortunate burning as a witch of web designer Edwin Gabellis underscored how effectively this campaign penetrated the target demographic.

Pacific Edible Seaweed Company

CW&O was instrumental in steering this leader in aquatic nutrition through its decade and a half struggle for acceptance after its1962 founding by visionary Russell Finch. Finch’s 1963 conviction on a series of reckless endangerment charges forced the sale of the company to Carnation, which allowed the brand to languish after the failure of its Evapoweed brand of canned creamed seaweed.

The 70’s saw the rediscovery of the brand by an increasingly health-conscious America, but it was only after CW&O redesigned the packaging for the new PES Seasylph line of frozen seaweed soufflés, and signed rocker Patty Smythe to create the legendary Sky Seaweed High jingle that sales finally began to soar. The campaign’s pioneering use of psychedelic imagery ensured entry to the Ad Hall of Fame , as well as several FDA citations.

More recently, the repositioning of PES as pet food has extended the brand’s franchise to an even broader range of species.

Amalgamated Weasals, LLC.

When fourteen personal injury law firms formed a nationwide consortium in 1991, they found their advertising was too corporate and impersonal to compete with the local competitors in each market, where often the principal partner served as primary spokesman.

When they turned to CW&O for help, the result was the grating, yet memorable James Wood’s “You Can Trust Me Jake” character. CWO’s media plan also made history for the category, being the first to actually run ads before midnight. Regulatory obstacles to the ads were overcome by placing the always wired Woods through a crash 7 x 24 set of courses that found him being admitted to the bar in all fifty states within an amazing timespan of less than three months.

The result: In 2001 alone, Amalgamated Weasels' sum total of awards reached nearly $5 Billion, with James Woods, himself, securing a $500 million share of the recent Foot Fabric Settlement of litigation arguing the toxic side-effects of knee socks.

IILD (formerly International Illegal Listening Devices)

Before CW & Ocame into the picture, International Illegal Listening Devices was just another behind-the-shutters snoop shop, and founder Harry Caul just another aging techno-nerd with paranoid delusions.

CW & O research showed that what made snooping most attractive - its clandestine nature - also made it too "dangerous" and underground for Middle America. CO & W's brilliant strategic reappraisal that brought the monitoring device out from under the counter and into the consumer mainstream.

IILD's Bugg Hives, with their distinctive beehive-inspired kiosks, are now a common landmark in parking lots all across the nation. And Caul has become the crusty but avuncular Harry the Peeper.
CW & O's Clio award winning "Every Breath You Take" campaign has made him America's favorite guide to intercept technology. Now, it's almost impossible to remember a time when employers and parents weren't bugging washrooms and coffee stands, and wearing a wire wasn't as much a part of courtship as roses and restraining orders.


  ©2002-2003 Lynn Becker Associates. The contents of this site are satire. Any reference to any person, institution, corporation or entity without satirical purpose is strictly coincidental.






















i cannot begin to tell you how annoying you're becoming in your insistence on continuing to look down here, when I've told you again and again that there's absolutely nothing to see.