the hood But enough about you, how about us? People who cut us checks our illustrious past we're deep, too! sensate beings who work here like Ogilvy, but he licks your face, too the Old Sally's Lightly Silted Story mysticism in marketing stuff our PR guy made up

Brand History

CW&O Comes to Save the Day

Primo Research

<The Good That Agencies Do








III. Research and Focus Groups

Focus Groups were drawn from what were seen to be the
the brand's two major target demo's- rural residents over 70 with limited income and atrophied tastebuds, and grammar school drop-outs with a pronounced craving for particulated beverages


  • 63% of the participants thought the amount of particulate matter "very satisfactory" for a brand labeled "Lightly Silted."
  • 24% of participants claimed experiencing "wonky" hallucinations.
  • 18% of the participants could find no discernable taste difference between Old Sally's and pickled socks.
  • The 8% of participants characterizing themselves as bulimic all registered "Intend to Purchase" scores at or above the 90th percentile.
  • Only 4% of participants required medical intervention after taste testing. 
  • 3% of the participants thought they were at an AA meeting.


  • 98% of participants were able to recall the Old Sally's ad from a sampling of ads for different beverages.
  • 36% found Gilbert Gottfried a persuasive spokesmen, although 11% had to turn down the volume on their hearing aids.
  • 28% of participants found the music too derivative of
    Nine Inch Nails.
  • 2% insisted the ad contained a subliminal message commanding them to cover the focus group leader in chocolate syrup.
  ©2002-2003 Lynn Becker Associates. The contents of this site are satire. Any reference to any person, institution, corporation or entity without satirical purpose is strictly coincidental.






















maybe we should put a counter down
here. . . probably formica